12 BAR BRUISE

ELBOW

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey

You want? You got?

You are such a big shot

You cunt, you know me better

Than to bend my elbow back

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

You want? You got?

You are such a big shot

You cunt, you know me better

Than to bend my elbow, bend my elbow

Stab me in the back!

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh!

MUCKRAKER

Clear the cobwebs off my brain

Ants have came

It smells like rain

Pissin' shit off porcelain

I'll rake the muck

It's just my luck

Oh no (whoohoo)

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no

Oh no (whoo hoo hoo)

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, ah

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Muckraker, oh muckraker

Muckraker, muckraker, oh!

Ooooooh

Clear the cobwebs off my brain

The ants have came

It smells like rain

Pissin' shit off porcelain

I'll rake the muck

It's just my luck

Oh no (whoohoo)

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no

Oh no (whoo hoo hoo)

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, ah

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Muckraker, oh muckraker

Muckraker, muckraker

Muckraker, muckraker, oh!

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah

Oooooh

NEIN

Never, never, never, never again

Had much, too much, I’m sick of it

My body’s full of poison shit

Never, never, well, ha ha, ha, ha! (Shit, never again)

Shit, never again

One, two, three, four

Five, six, seven, eight

Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!

One, two, three, four

Five, six, seven, eight

Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!

Shit, never again

One, two, three, four

Five, six, seven, eight

Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!

One, two, three, four

Five, six, seven, eight

Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!

Well, never, never, never, never again

Had much, too much, I’m sick of it

My body’s full of poison shit

Never, never, well, ha ha, ha, ha! (Shit, never again)

12 BAR BRUISE

I'd better be slave

I'd make some money

And when it gets ruff

We can bruise some stuff

But look at my dick

I bet you it’s limp

Should I quit drink

It makes me think that…

12 bar booze is 12 bar bruise, ooh

I've gotta be strong

Make me live long

I'd better not wait

For a bottle’s sake

All of my friends are

Looking up dresses

They have not seen

The bruise that I’ve seen

Broo-oo-oo-oo-uize, wooh!

I'd better be slave

I'd make some money

And so when it gets ruff

We can bruise some stuff

But look at my dick

I bet you it’s limp

Should I quit drink

It makes me think that…

12 bar booze is 12 bar bruise, ooh

I've gotta be strong

Make me live long

I'd better not wait

For a bottle’s sake

All of my friends are

Looking up dresses

They have not seen

The bruise that I’ve seen

Broo-oo-oo-oo-uize, wooh!

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-uize, wooh!

GARAGE LIDDIARD

My head, oh my head

My head’s all bleak

And it makes my love so rough

My knees, oh my knees

My knees are weak

And it makes for walking tough

Oww! Oww! Oww!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Ouch!

My head, oh my head

My head’s all bleak

And it makes my love so rough

My knees, oh my knees

My knees are weak

And it makes for walking tough

Oww! Oww! Oww!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Ouch!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Ouch!

Oww! Oww! Oww!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww!

Oww! Oww! Oww! Ouch!

SAM CHERRY'S LAST SHOT

Early that morning, the wagon-master of a train came into the post greatly excited, and reported that the dead body of a man and horse had been found in the road about six miles from the post. A company of infantry was immediately ordered out, and proceeding to the spot found the body of Sam Cherry, pinned fast to the ground by the dead body of his horse. The search was continued, and in a lateral canon were found the bodies of Sergeant Love and the three privates riddled with bullets, mutilated and disfigured, but giving every evidence of having sold their lives as brave men should. The trails were examined and the whole story worked out. The party had traveled along the road nearly to the entrance of the canon of the Limpia, known as the "Wild Rose Pass," when suddenly about thirty mounted Indians dashed from the bushes along the stream, cutting it off from retreat towards the Fort, and driving it up the lateral canon. Suspecting a trap, Sam Cherry suddenly turned, dashed through the line of Indians, regained the road, and ran for life, away from the Fort, followed by a number of yelling savages. He was evidently doing well, when his horse stumbled and fell breaking his neck, and pinning Sam's leg to the ground. In an instant, he was surrounded by the exultant Indians

Raising himself slightly, Sam fired five shots at his enemies, then turning the muzzle against his own temple, he escaped the tortures of their vindictive rage by his "last shot." The baffled and terrified Indians went away as fast as their ponies could carry them, not touching the body, not even taking the arms. Such is the way out in the west. People die by extreme barbaric ways. We’ve taken their lands, and in return they take our viscera and spread it across the desert lands

HIGH HOPES LOW

Well I ain’t dumb

But I ain’t that smart

And I can’t spell

But I can sound it out

Gotta keep your high hopes low, oh!

High hopes low

Well I ain’t dumb

But I ain’t that smart

And I can’t spell

But I can sound it out

Gotta keep your high hopes low

High hopes low, high hopes low, oh!

High hopes low, yup

Well I ain’t slow

My high hopes' low

My high hopes' low, oh

High hopes low

CUT THROAT BOOGIE

As a child I felt inclined

To fold my ears in twine

Never once was I confined

I picked and choosed about my ride

So buckle me in before we set sail ahead

For it smells like cabbage

Got way too stale like death

Oh you’re white as a ghost, I never felt so pale

As the blood dripped across the floor

So put it buried in your chest

With the rest of your drunken regrets

Inches from your jugular

As the room fills up in front of ya

It took them long enough

For them to stop and suggest

Hey we better get him some help

We better get him out of here

How did I manage to cope as the blood soaked

Through my clothes and to the floor

From outside to the bathroom door

I was inches from my life

Yeah that’s what keeps me up at night

Oh how did I survive, you should'a died

How did I manage to cope being alive

After all it was just a innocent play fight

I hope they don’t stop to sympathise

Oh, stitch up the past to cure their whoremented heart, ah

Oh, tormented dreams it’s all left in between

BLOODY RIPPER

Push me down, I will not crack

You're just a monkey with your claws in my back

I said it, and you heard

That murky bottle's cutting me some slack

But it's like all I wanna do

Sink my teeth in you

You already told me to

You said, "It's alright"

Oh, it's like all I wanna do

Sink my teeth in you

You already told me to

You said, "It's alright"

And push me down, I will not crack

You're just a monkey with your claws in my back

I said it, and you heard

That murky bottle's cutting me some slack

But it's like all I wanna do

Sink my teeth in you

You already told me to

You said, "It's alright"

It's alright, it's alright

It's alright, it's alright, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh

UH OH, I CALLED MUM

Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum!

Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum, oh!

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh

I called mum!

I bought a funny glob

I put it in my gob

I had anxiety

I couldn't help myself

But call mum, oh!

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh

I called mum!

Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum

Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum, oh!

I bought a funny glob

I put it in my gob

I had anxiety

I couldn't help myself

But call mum, oh!

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh

I called mum!

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh

I called mum!

Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum!

Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum-mum-mum-mum-mum!

SEA OF TREES

Oh hell, I’m feeling underwater

My head is sinking like a stone

And hell, I’m feeling kinda sick

I don’t know what’s the use in it

And when you’re feeling suicidal

Sometimes you’ve just got to unfold

Oh hell, I’m feeling underwater

My head is sinking like a stone

And hell, I’m feeling like a prick

I don’t know what’s the use in it

And when you’re feeling suicidal

Sometimes you’ve just got to unfold

FOOTY FOOTY

Footy footy, all I wanna do is

Footy footy, all I wanna kick is

Footy footy, they catch the ball, kick, play on!

Footy footy, footy footy footy!

Ang Christou

Che Cockatoo-Collins

Phillip Matera

Gavin Wanganeen

Gary Moorcroft

Aussie Jones

Bruce Doull, the 'Flying Doormat'

'Spida' Everitt

'Spider' Burton

Craig Bradley

The 1995 Carlton football team

Footy footy, footy footy

Footy footy, all I wanna do is

Footy footy, all I wanna kick is

Footy footy, they’ll crumb the ruck and run, handball!

Footy footy, footy footy footy!

'Diesel' Williams

Dale Kickett

'Sticks' Kernahan

Darren Jarman

Chad Rintoul

Ashley Sampi

Mick Martyn

Dean Huegill

Clint Bizzell

The Brisbane Bears

Aaron Hamill

Everyone

Footy footy, footy footy

I’ll go down to Waverley Park

I’m gonna sit on the wing

I’m gonna eat a pie

I’m gonna buy a Footy Record for a dollar-fifty

I’m gonna have a full-strength beer, ya girl

I’m gonna take a specky

I’m gonna kick a banana

I’m gonna eat a banana

I am gonna love every second of it

I hate what this game has become

Footy